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happy new year
JER LYDIA WRIGHT
you weren’t supposed to be here; you aren’t supposed to be here.
you were supposed to be gone by now. but of course, you can’t do anything right.
a year passed for you this year, and it wasn’t supposed to, but you still can’t do anything right.
you made friends, who you don’t talk to when you’re upset.
they smile at you and it stings behind your eyes because you should be better for them.
you poisoned your body, lit up bright futures that crumbled to ash in your fingers
and you gasped in haze and imagined that it was the fire in your lung instead of the smoke.
you try hard to forget that sting behind your eyes when someone smiles at you.
you try not to think about yourself when you walk at night, where someone else is afraid
because you aren’t afraid at night, even though it should be you instead of them.
and you try not to think about the sting behind your eyes, when she asks why you do this to yourself.
you think about how you can’t do anything right.
and you put out your cigarette, and you go back inside.

FRONTIER MOSAIC

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  • Home
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